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INDULGE: Gifts for Kick Ass Women

It’s Valentines day, and whilst most girls are probably expecting a Pandora charm or a Michael Kors watch, we here at AFT do things a little differently. And by differently, I mean weirdly. A gift guide for totally fictional women. Which one are you?

The Katniss

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If you’re bold, bright, fearless and occasionally charmless, you might just be the Katniss. In which case this selection might just be up your street.

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When you’re trying to bring down the Capitol and win the Hunger Games, you don’t have time to change the batteries in your trusty bullet. Sola, is a small bullet-shaped vibrator powered by the sun. ($69.95; shop.libida.com)

 

 

whistles-jett-leather-biker-black_03Just because you’re a badass rebel who brings down corrupt government, doesn’t mean you don’t want to look chic. This Whistles jacket is classic, buttery soft and would offer a decent level of protection from fire and small combat weapons. Jett Leather jacket from Whistles, £325 

 

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So you’re a Hunger Games winner who wants to keep her hand it when it comes to archery, without necessarily having to shoot to kill. What’s the answer? The Nerf Rebelle. It’s that rarest of territory that occurs when you mix a crossbow and a toy. And the girl in the advert is wearing the leather jacket. Nerf Rebelle, £16.77.

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Bondara’s rope has a dual purpose here. Not only could Katniss use it for survival, she could also tie Gale to her headboard. Or Peeta to her headboard. Or Gale to Peeta… Ahem. Soft black rope, £8.99 from Bondara

The Hermione 

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If you’re clever, powerful, beautiful and very keen on correcting other people’s pronunciations in class, then you’re a Hermione. Editors’s note: All the gifts below are intended for ADULT Hermione.

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After you help save the Wizarding world, it’s natural to want to kick back in your PJ’s. Ever the career woman, Hermione knows that you can be sexy, without being tawdry. Lucky Ron.

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What do you buy for the witch who has everything? A butt plug. With a Gryffindor Lion’s head on the end. Coco de Mer, £90. 

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There are some problems that you need a Muggle solution to, and unwanted frizz is one of them. Sleekeasy potion has nothing on GHD, £99 from GHD.

The Hannah

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If you’re neurotic, introspective, talented but supremely lazy then you’re probably a Hannah. Don’t fight it. It’s weirdly charming.

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Sexually, Hannah’s less adventurous than she’d like to think, so the perfect sexy gift for a Hannah is something discrete, versatile and unintimidating. Enter the OVO Desire D4 Mini Vibe, £21.99 from Harmony.

 

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We love these phone covers from amy sia – especially suitable for a long distance relationship where one of you lives in Iowa. £24.95 from amy sia.

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This playsuit would be kooky, cute and ever so slightly unflattering on Hannah. Which is exactly why she’d wear it, and exactly why we love her. £36 from Joy.

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Everyone knows that you can’t be the voice of your generation, or write the next great american novel, until you’ve bought a new notepad. Maybe this will be the one that finally kicks the writers block. £9 Paperchase

The Daenerys

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Kick-ass, deposed Princess and mother of dragons, Daenerys could do with a bit of spoiling this V-day, what with all the leading and fighting she’s had to do. If you’re responsible, kind, ambitious and 100% fire proof then you’re a Daenerys.

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All that time in the desert is going to be drying on the hair, and if we’re totally honest, we can believe in dragons, but realistically, can anyone have hair that pefect without the aide of dye? Really? Bumble and bumble Color Minded Shampoo 250ml – Boots

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After the levels of sexual tension between Daenerys and the slave girl who was “teaching” her how to have sex? I think it’s fair to suggest that Daenerys has a little bi-curiosity going on. So this six inch silicone dildo with harness would be the perfect way to explore. Plus, it’s hard to be a woman in a man’s world. This way she can dick swing with the best of them. £24.99 from Harmony

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When you used to be a Princess before the throne was stolen from you and you grew up in exile, it’s nice when your partner can give you a little reminder that you’re always royalty to him. The Annoushka Coronet Eternity ring, £350,  is the perfect hint of royalty.

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It must be very hard to feel that you look different from you children. So with the dragon Kigu, Khaleesi can pop on a fleecy treat and feel look just like her dragon babies. Dragon Kigu 

Rebecca is Editor-in-Chief of AFT. Erstwhile freelancer, serial manicurist, feminist and period drama enthusiast. She's spent most of her life talking about sex, so she decided to make a career out of it. Follow her on twitter @AFTRebecca for Taylor Swift elegies and pictures of her manicures.

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